If you can read the sign then follow the directions

It was our lunch break on the final day of my Blissology Yoga Teachers training in Ulu Watu and I was feeling the need to squeeze in some last minute tourist attractions.  I only had one hour so I jumped on my scooter and went to the local temple.  This temple is exceptional in its location, considered to be one of the nine directional temples in Bali. It is located high on the edge of the cliff  above the roaring waves of the Indian Ocean and constructed in the 11th Century.

When I pulled up to the parking lot of this tourist attraction a local vendor took one look at me a waved her bony finger at me and spoke to me in the local Balinese dialect.  Her body language indicated to me that I was not appropriately dressed in my yoga top and shorts to visit the temple.  I proceeded to the entrance to pay my fee and collect a purple sarong to cover my legs.  I looked at the posted sign written in a variety of languages and read in plain English that I should take off my glasses and remove any jewelry.  Well, I was in a hurry and didn't understand WHY should I take off earthly possessions to see a temple?

I was about 50 meters from the gate entrance when I was surrounded by monkeys.  Now, I should tell you that I spent 2 weeks living at a small hotel situated next to the rear entrance to the Monkey Forest in Ubud and learned that the monkey's can be very mischievous and aggressive!  When you are surrounded by a gang of monkey's you need to have 360 degrees of monkey vision.  I did a quick calculation and realized that I was severely out numbered and covered in sparkling jewelry!  That that very moment HE sprung 20 feet and straddled my body.  His feet were stuck in my purple sarong wrapped around my waist, one hand was on my back and the other hand grasping the tassel of my necklace which was pulling on my neck.

I found the tassel on my way out!

 I freaked!  This is equivalent to jumping around while screaming and flaying my arms.  As I was thrashing around I made contact with the monkey with my arm and he flew off my body, went flying in the air and landed on another Asian lady walking behind me.  She went into immediate hysteria!  Crying, screaming, and climbing on her husband.  I took one look at her and several monkey's were still in my line of vision, so I got the hell out of there as fast as I could run.  I got to the bottom of the hill to reflect upon my line of destruction.  The Asian lady was still dealing with monkey on her back.  I felt bad for the lady and all of this could have been avoided if only I would have followed the instructions posted on the sign!